Desolation Hymn: Archive

Jan 21st

2 notes

ALSO: A WARNING TO EVERYONE:

This laptop refuses to let me do page breaks. I suck at trigger warnings, and I don’t tag things. If you think you might get triggered by something I post, please unfollow me. I swear I won’t be offended. In fact, I would prefer it. Love, anesthesia

Jan 12th

Fuck Cancer. (TW anything that might have to do...

SO my ex- boss’s mom died of cancer this week. I think she may have been relatively recently diagnosed because of the obituary (they called it a short illness), but I’m not sure. It was breast cancer. this is number 4 or 5 out of people I know that have/ have had breast cancer. This is fucked up. And it’s really been bumming me out. Death always bums me out, but cancer...

Jan 12th

1 note

Jan 12th

5,494 notes

2011 End Of The Year Review Eggstravaganza!

So I was going to start out with a photoset of all of the pictures I’ve posted of myself this year, but then I decided that it would be way too time consuming. I also have decided to buck the “in (year), I…” format, because i just don’t feel like doing that. Anyways, 2011. 2011 marks the first year that I’ve actually faced my problems head on, and focused on...

Dec 30th

1 note

Dec 15th

1,648 notes

1 tag

Up Above and Down Below

Or, The Shit I’ve Been reading Recently I’ve mostly been reading comix lately, because that’s what’s been showing up around my house. But I’ve been reading real books too, I swear! For starters, I read selected episodes of John Constantine: Hellblazer Have you ever seen the movie Constantine? Because apparently it was kind of based on the main character in this...

Dec 14th

Dec 2nd

Where Jason Molina is →

This is important. Go read.

Nov 29th

Nov 22nd

I think this laptop doesn't like me.

Either way, I also thin none of you are really too upset about not reading the post I had written out about being selfish. So You win and I lose? In conclusion, getting better is the fucking hardest thing anyone can ever do and it sucks for most of it. I’ll let you know later if there’s even a reward at the end.

Nov 21st

The Water Song- The Mountain Goats water came...

Nov 17th

I Don't Know Whether To Feel Enraged, Confused,...

So. Tumblr. I’m kind of embarrassed. Add that to the above list. I had this long intro written out about how I love all of you for holding my hand through this whole getting better thing, but it just mysteriously disappeared. ANYWAYS this post will be more relevant to people who’ve been around since my pre-tumblr days, but you all should read it because each and every one of you...

Nov 14th

Nov 13th

You Know That Moment When You Reread A Blog Or A...

And for the first time you see not only how things were, but how you were experiencing them accurately? I just had that moment. I’m wondering how things would have gone if I had not stuck it out with that guy. I’m also wondering how I could have possibly been that stupid. But (but!), I’m proud of myself for growing up since then. http://lifeonthebackburner.blogspot.com

Nov 11th

Nov 9th

I've been so wrong.

I’ve got this one friend in this town, right? He plays in two bands and also does solo stuff. And today, he was at my house. I blended him some anxietea. And I said to him, as we were sipping tea, Everyone prays. This is how I pray. I’ve been so wrong. I’ve been drinking the wrong thing this whole time. The important part is, I figured it out. “Where there is tea,...

Nov 8th

You know it's love when...

You find yourself picking your partner’s serious earwax buildup out of your headphones without batting an eye. (turns out skullcandy earbuds can get all waxy. I suppose we were all expecting it.)

Nov 8th

Nov 4th

Nov 2nd

26,390 notes

Today, I learned something about pain.

Specifically, my chronic pain. Turns out, that when I’m having a good day, I won’t hurt all that much. Typically it’ll be localized in one part of my body (usually my hips) and I’ll barely notice it. If I’m having a not so great day, though, like if I’m particularly stressed out or something, it gets worse. A lot worse. like 9 on the pain scale worse. Long...

Nov 2nd

Here’s that cover of between the bars I was...

Nov 1st

Part Two Of That Last Big Long Rant (edit)

Anyways. Warning: this post contains things I don’t even want to think about. And talking about sex. I’m coming to realize more and more these days that a lot of my shit has to do with growing up loving Jesus. It blows my mind that something that means so well can do so much damage. They told me all of these things, right? And what happened was that I internalized a lot of them, even...

Oct 31st

1 note

Preacher, Jesus, And where I fall in Between those...

I’m a bit too anxious to sleep for some reason right now. Well, I guess i know that reason, but it has to do with *feelings* and experiencing them in a way that will be productive eventually but right now is uncomfortable and stressful. Can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, though. Uncomfortable and stressful is necessary to turn problems you have into problems you...

Oct 31st

1 note

Oct 30th

Oct 29th

Oct 28th

I am logging in solely for the purpose of beating...

HOLY SHIT HOMESTUCK (and if the rest of you have a few weeks to spare you should read this. www.mspaintadventures.com . It;s better than the last few books I’ve read.)

Oct 25th

It was the cough syrup that was making me...

And that’s just annoying. Have I ever mentioned how sensitive I am to medication? I’m sure I have. Tonight there was a jam band playing at the bar/club/venue next to the coffee shop. The show let out right as I pulled the van up to load in for deliveries, flooding the street with hippies. Damn hippies. In slightly more interesting news, I got offered some gallery space. Which,...

Oct 24th

Shitty verse, I've been having a moment and in the...

GETTING BETTER Sometimes, the whole battle is the thing gnawing at my chest, threatening to burst forth and consume me again like that’s still my name, still my face, all frightened and careworn. Like the one good thing you could tell me might still be the difference between life and death- so what if it is tonight?

Oct 21st

HEY GUYS WE HAVE THE INTERNET AGAIN!

SO, I guess that means I have to start blogging like a blogger again. Or something. The lat book I read was called Lush Life. It was written by Richard Price, and it reads like a cop tv show. Some kid murders a guy, and the cops think it’s the guy who the dead guy was hanging out with, but then it ends up being the kid. Guy from work lent it to me. I wouldn’t recommend it unless you...

Oct 20th

Oct 19th

Oct 10th

Sep 12th

Motivation

awkwardstumblr: ‎”To put meaning in one’s life may end in madness, but life without meaning is the torture of restlessness and vague desire-It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.”-Edgar Lee Master Edgar Lee Masters is the shit.

Sep 11th

Emergency Bread/Surprise Double Shift Verdict:

Morning is a pretty awesome time of day. I think I’d rather start my day with it than end my day with it, though. I’m getting old, I guess.

Sep 7th

The Mountain Goats- Orange Ball of Hate We both...

Aug 29th

I Could Post Magnolia Electric Co. Songs All...

But I won’t. I could also tell the incredibly romantic (as in romanticized) story of how I discovered Jason Molina (it involves waking up in the middle of the night to a Magnolia Electric Co. song at a friend’s house), but I won’t tell that story either. (but you all should go out and get all of the Songs: Ohia, Magnolia Electric Co., and Jason Molina music you can. Also...

Aug 9th

Magnolia Electric Co.- Hammer Down Hammer down...

Aug 9th

Watch

Duet For Guitar And Melodica

Aug 7th

It is once again time for the reading of The Story...

With this old copy, this copy stolen and then given to me (kenny, I’ve got your blue book). It’s my bible. And to the rest of you, here’s a passage. Not the most important one, but one that does mean something. For colts who cannot bear spur or whips find life hard. For every pain which comes to them they bolt down wild ways to yawning chasms. As soon as the road is stony and...

Jul 25th

Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink4(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

Jul 23rd

If It's Not Love, Then It's The Bomb Pt. 2:...

Underworld was an amazing novel. I loved it. It’s at once about a woman who fucked a 17 year old, a guy named Nick Shay, a nun named Sister Edgar, a girl named Esmerelda, trash, and the atomic bomb. This book will blow your mind. It’s also about baseball. I suppose that my point is that all of the reviews on the back cover said that it was a chronicle of half a century, and I agree...

Jul 20th

Jul 13th

112,395 notes

You Know That Moment When You Think,

“god, I feel so awful right now I want to crawl into a hole and die. Maybe doing the dishes will cheer me up.”? No? Anyone? Just me? Ok.

Jul 10th

It's Dreamy Weather We're On...

So I’m doing the dialogue for Alice now. Tonight I wrote a monologue for the cheshire cat… he’s a tough character for me, because my reference is so far into my past now and it’s someone who I’d rather not constantly bring into my living memory. It’s funny that almost all I can remember is the laugh, but that seems like it’s enough. The trick is going to...

Jul 7th